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Compassion Focused Therapy is designed for people who struggle with shame, harsh self-criticism, and difficulty offering kindness to themselves. If you live with a punishing inner critic that tells you you’re not good enough or don’t deserve care, CFT can be profoundly healing.
You may benefit from CFT if you experienced criticism, neglect, bullying, or trauma and as a result developed a deeply critical relationship with yourself. Many people who turn to CFT are compassionate toward others yet unable to extend the same warmth inward, or find that while other therapies make sense intellectually, they don’t shift the deeper feelings of shame or unworthiness.
CFT is helpful for depression rooted in self-criticism, anxiety about judgement or not measuring up, eating disorders, relationship difficulties tied to low self-worth, and trauma involving shame or self-blame. It’s particularly valuable if you want to change not just your thoughts, but your emotional experience of yourself.
CFT helps couples develop compassion for themselves and each other, particularly when shame, criticism, or harsh judgment has become central to relationship dynamics. If one or both partners struggle with intense self-criticism and this spills into the relationship through defensiveness, withdrawal, or reactivity, CFT can create profound shifts.
You might benefit from this approach if your relationship involves criticism — either of self or partner — that creates disconnection and hurt. Perhaps one partner's shame triggers defensiveness that looks like anger, whilst the other partner feels shut out and unloved. CFT helps both partners understand these patterns and develop more compassionate responses.
This approach is valuable when past wounds have created deep shame in one or both partners, affecting intimacy, vulnerability, or the capacity to accept love and care from each other. CFT helps couples recognize how their threat systems are activated in the relationship and learn to soothe each other rather than escalate threat.
CFT for families is particularly valuable when harsh criticism, shame, or punitive approaches to behaviour management have become the norm. If parents recognize that their own inner critic is harsh and they're extending this criticism to their children, CFT helps develop more compassionate parenting whilst healing their own wounds.
Families benefit from CFT when children are struggling with anxiety, low self-esteem, perfectionism, or harsh self-judgment. Rather than trying to convince children they're worthy or good enough, CFT teaches the whole family practices for developing self-compassion and responding to difficulties with kindness rather than criticism.
This approach helps families understand the different emotion regulation systems — threat, drive, and soothing — and recognize when family members are stuck in threat mode. Families learn to activate the soothing system, creating a more compassionate, supportive family environment where all members can flourish.
This system detects threats and activates emotions like anxiety, anger, and disgust to protect us. It's quick, powerful, and essential for survival — but it can become overactive, leading to chronic anxiety, shame, or anger. When this system dominates, life feels dangerous and we're constantly on guard.
This system motivates us to pursue resources, goals, and rewards. It creates feelings of excitement, motivation, and pleasure. Whilst important for achievement, if this system dominates, we can become driven, exhausted, or never feel satisfied — always chasing the next goal without feeling content.
This system helps us feel safe, content, and connected. It's activated through warmth, affection, kindness, and care — both from others and ourselves. When this system is active, we feel calm, connected, and able to rest. For many people who are self-critical or shame-prone, this system is underdeveloped.
CFT helps you understand your difficulties through the lens of brain science and evolution. This removes blame — you didn’t choose your brain’s design or early experiences. This understanding itself reduces shame.
CFT recognises that many people fear compassion — worrying it will make them weak, vulnerable, or complacent. We work directly with these fears, understanding them as protective responses rooted in your history.
As your compassionate self develops, we use it to work with difficult emotions, memories, and parts of yourself. You’ll learn to bring compassion to your shame, your self-critical voice, your fears, and your pain — transforming your relationship with these experiences.
A specific breathing pattern (around 5-6 breaths per minute) that activates your parasympathetic nervous system and soothing system.
Creating a mental image of your ideal compassionate self — wise, strong, warm, and committed to your wellbeing.
Writing to yourself from your compassionate self, offering understanding, validation, and wise guidance.
Learning to direct warm, kind attention to your experience rather than critical or avoidant attention.
Reframing difficulties through a compassionate lens — understanding rather than judging.
Taking actions that are genuinely helpful and kind to yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable.
Understanding different parts of yourself (self-critical part, anxious part, compassionate part) and facilitating dialogue between them.
Individual and Couples Psychotherapist
Individual and Couples Psychotherapist
Individual and Couples Psychotherapist EMDR
Individual Family and Young People Psychotherapist
Individual Couples and Family Psychotherapist
Individual and Couples Psychotherapist
Individual Couples Family Psychotherapist
Individual Couples and Family Psychotherapist
Clinical Psychologist Individual Couples and Family Psychotherapist
Counselling Psychologist Individual and Couples Psychotherapist EMDR
Individual Couples Family and Group Psychotherapist EMDR
Starting CFT requires courage and patience. If you’ve spent years being self-critical, developing self-compassion won’t happen overnight. You may initially find compassion exercises awkward, uncomfortable, or even distressing — this is normal and expected, especially if warmth has been absent or unsafe in your life.
It's about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you'd offer to someone you care about. It's about recognising that you're a human being doing your best with the brain and experiences you were given, and that you deserve kindness, not attack.
You don't have to be perfect to deserve kindness. Your difficulties don't make you defective — they make you human. With practice, support, and courage, you can develop a wiser, kinder relationship with yourself that supports healing rather than perpetuating suffering.
Because when you begin relating to yourself with warmth instead of fear, your inner landscape changes — emotions soften, shame loosens its hold, and challenges become more navigable. Self-compassion isn’t about avoiding responsibility; it’s about creating the inner safety that makes real change possible. If you're ready to stop the self-attack and develop genuine self-kindness, we're here to help.
Should you feel that your first session did not meet your expectations or that your therapist wasn’t a good fit, we will provide another session completely free of charge with a different practitioner.
We are proud to work in partnership with major UK and global insurers, as an approved mental health provider, supporting various clients in their therapy journey around the globe.
